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[icon] Over the last few days I've been thinking far too much about… - Tired of bullshit dressed in gold.
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Time:09:16 am
Current Mood:sadsad
Over the last few days I've been thinking far too much about motivation.

I have absolutely none.

No motivation to succeed beyond this job, which I'm at the top of right now with no further prospects; no motivation to go back to school to get a better job; no motivation to lose the over 60 kilos I carry around daily; no motivation to write.

I think I've posted a couple of times about my desire to save money for a trip to the US next February-March. Why then? Because Chikara's King of Trios is somewhere around that time. And I haven't shared this want to anyone outside of whomever might read this journal, because they'll ask the question why, and I don't really have any reason to apart from KoT 2010. And people will look all puzzled, answer 'oh, okay', and it won't be, because they'll be wondering why the fuck I'd spend money for my first plane ticket ever, let alone out of Australia, plus accomodations and tickets, just to see some stupid wrestling show. And then I wonder if King of Trios as motivation to go to America is enough motivation, like the Great Wall is for going to China, or Stonehenge for going to England, or the Berlin Wall is for going to Germany.

On Saturday night the family were talking about my brother Ryan going to China and then onto England, and my other brother Craig (who has been through Europe) said, "My friend couldn't sit down next to someone in a pub and start up a conversation. And that's kinda the point of it, isn't it?" And everyone else at the table nodded their heads. And I just could not do that. I would be travelling alone, by virtue of having no friends, and as much as I like being alone the fear factor of being a twenty-one (by that point) year old woman alone in Pennsylvania, fifteen thousand kilometres away from home.
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angel_negra
Subject:*hugs a lot*
Link:(Link)
Time:2009-04-05 03:03 am (UTC)
I find with motivation that sometimes, it's enough to just BE for a while. Sure there's stuff you should do, because that's what society thinks you should do. They say you should be thin, they say you should always be striving for that perfect job, or writing this fic 'because OMG ur awesome and I wants it!11'. And sometimes, doing what's best for you is simply not doing anything you SHOULD do. It gives you a chance to relax, go with the flow and just learn how to be you.

And sometimes what happens is that you're just floating along and you see a sign for a specific gym and think, 'why not?' and next thing you know, you're working out and shedding pounds like mad. Or you see a college/uni course book and a certain job just jumps out at you and you start eyeing your savings to see if you can make it work. Or you suddenly get hit by the fic idea from hell and just sit down and write for four hours straight.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going to see a wrestling show. You like it, it makes you happy and it'll be an experience that you'll treasure forever. And it's not until 2010, right? So if you're scared of being alone for it, why not look into LJ comms for wrestling, see who else is going, chat them up. Maybe you'll make some friends that you can at least meet there? I know for me that meeting online friends offline is an awesome experience, it's like meeting up with an old friend, but for the first time.
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[icon] Over the last few days I've been thinking far too much about… - Tired of bullshit dressed in gold.
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