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[icon] Legdrop. - Tired of bullshit dressed in gold.
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Current Music:Various promos - I think this one's Matt Sydal.
Time:10:56 pm
Current Mood:thoughtfulthoughtful
Went to Fortitude Valley for Chinese New Year. Supposed to be Mum, Dad, Grace, Matt, Nick and me.

Big dramas - we said initially we'd leave at five, but mum found in the paper that it all ended at 7, so we left for the train at 4. We being Nick, parents and I. Matt and Grace somehow ended up at Toombul, and met us pretty much there.

Then there was nothing to do.

So we went to the city.

Grace got bored and went home.

Nick, Matt and I stayed.

And caught a movie - Meet the Fockers.

And then went on one of those chocolate skill tester things - we figured out that we put about nine dollars through it, and we got about twenty three chocolates and stuff out of it. Pretty cool.

I think my main goal, when I'm around my friends, is to make Nick laugh. Or smile. Because he doesn't do it much, and he is just very quiet and absorbing and serious. And it feels like I'm missing out on some part of him when he's being quiet or staring off into space and that's bad, because he's a mate, and...I don't know.

Grace complained that I didn't talk, and Nick and Matt generally don't talk as a rule. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm quiet around Grace because she's been gone so long, and I have to adjust to her being around and loud again. Or have to get around the fact that when she's around, she's the leader.

I dunno - everyone follows her, and it's just like whatever she wants to do, everyone follows. And if say Matt wanted to do something, if Grace didn't he'd have to do it alone. And at school when she's not there it's like we're more on even footing - if Ashley feels like walking to the music block, she'll ask us and one might stay, one might go. There's no real leader, or if that's just a position we all take turns being the leader person.

Or maybe I just wanted to get home and watch the IWA: MS Ted Petty Invitational 2004 that I downloaded, I dunno.

Off to watch some tournament I have no idea about.

But first, does anyone recognise this song?

'Touch me, feel me, come take me higher...I've been watching, I'v e been waiting, in the shadows, all (my life)/(this time).' And I think the video clip has something to do with a concert and a mirror.
comments: Promo time? Previous Entry Share Next Entry

Time:2005-02-12 01:24 pm (UTC)
I think the song is from the Rasmus, and it's called 'In The Shadows'. It was a rather big hit in the Netherlands and was used in a SpongeBob commercial.
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Time:2005-02-13 12:01 am (UTC)
Yeah, that's the one. I hate that song. And the singer's hair.

Me? Petty? Never!
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Subject:well then.
Time:2005-02-13 12:18 pm (UTC)
everyone (apart from ashley) has gotta be uncomfortable around me or something, because no one ever looks like they have any idea where the fuck they're going/what the fuck they're doing. everyone always looks timid and hung up like a little pork chop when they're with me. you guys barely even know where to stand or what to do with yourselves. i will be looking through trashed-up crap in the markets or things on the shelves in the shops, and instead of joining in or freely walking around on your own, or even just saying "this is so boring that it's making me want to fucking kill myself, let's go", everyone just kinda closely hovers around me, not even daring to look at anything. you all just stare, and it's f'n weird.

for a while i thought it was because everyone in the group just naturally looks out of place to me, but now i am thinking it has more to do with me not really fitting in with any of you and/or everyone wanting to just straight out shit in my lungs but not having the guts to tell me.

maybe i am paranoid, but. the constant awkward silence and body language just tells me that no one wants me to be there. that's why i go home early every time.. :S

everyone is too serious/morbid/secretive/distanced/anti-social/cold for me, and i am probably too loud and obnoxious for everyone else.
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[icon] Legdrop. - Tired of bullshit dressed in gold.
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